I saw this quote on Instagram the other day “Be Patient and Trust Your Journey”…
And I thought pfffft ‘lalala yoga yoga poo’ I (shamefully) often do. Yet, after about 3.5 minutes I had to admit to myself that it made me feel a little better. So down on the phone ‘notes’ it goes.
I have now ended a 3 month block of a ‘be patient and trust your journey’ time of my life.
Yes, the teaching post had been nice and a familiar fish swimming down my familiar stream of life, ESL is what I had always done from immediately graduated university. I have always loved it as it has led me to many different walks of life abroad and kept allowing me to learn and grow.
I was very excited once I had this new teaching job in Ottawa, with the view of the parliament building and interesting students from around the world – lovely.
However. 10 hours of classes and 5pm day before notice of schedule proves to be far from lovely, in fact, quite stressful when after you feel tired or bored (depending on the day) your salary still didn’t cover rent let alone any other costs.
What to do.
Here, I shall, as briefly as I can, recount the recent decisions, events that have led up to today. Where in a few days I will embark on a complete career change and new stream of non-familiarity.
I started applying for jobs in the area, christmas temp work etc. to no avail.
After a few weeks I received a very long email from a job post I had already forgotten about, being a wreath maker. Unfortunately the post had been filled but because of my last years experience and enthusiasm we should keep in touch and see what opportunities arise in Spring.
You know that feeling in your stomach when you get all excited yet nervous at the same time? There was a little branch in my stream leading the flow to a different current, even though I have dreamt and thought a lot about the wonderful farming world, gardening and outdoor world of work, of course I would never actually find anything. I have little skills or qualifications and only one summer of volunteering.
But we did keep in touch. And, I am happy to say that in one week I shall officially be working for a garden centre and landscaping company. I’ll get to dirty my nails again!!!
It is very scary as since I have been an official independent adult, I have been an ESL teacher. And here I am, 30 years old and completely turning over a new leaf (could it be a pun?) and getting employed by a landscaping company!
(Below not my photo but a nice life metaphor)
My mother was a language teacher and even though as I grew up I told her I would never become one too, I did. Part of me was a little proud that I had in fact followed her footsteps, and now I am a little hesitant as that was a connection between she & I. Although, after much thought, I realized that we have so many damn connections our careers don’t need to be the same. It’s a little bit like- in this odd way, she held my hand through the first 8? years of adulthood, and now that I am 30, it’s okay for me to let go and start my own little journey. With a himalayan mountain of gratitude.
As soon as I opened my first horticulture book I read “He that plants trees, loves others beside himself” by T.Fuller and I smiled thinking ‘yes, I like this already’.
I’ll see how this job goes and I’m considering going back to school for a little while to study horticulture somewhere, perhaps I can become a study here in Canada and stay a little longer. I’m now half way through my 2 year visa – not knowing where I will be this time next year is a little overwhelming but I’m used to it. It is a constant element in my life so far and so far… it’s been okay.
Between New Years and now (and by now, I mean today) I was able to get myself a job as a cashier in a supermarket. I have felt very lucky to find myself a job, something where only working there in between other jobs was okay and not fretting about the work load once I got home. It was nice, you clock in, work your shift and then, clock out. You even have a uniform so no need to think about what you’re going to wear the next day and how your hair is going to be (all hair was tied up). It was perfect – for 3 months. The people I worked with were nice and I felt no pressure to be anyone I wasn’t which, was quite freeing.
It was a 45 minute drive to and from the work place which quite honestly sucked both financially and time wise. What seems doable at the beginning gets frustrating after about a month. Always one to find a way out (only child hehe) I downloaded a 40 hour AMAZING audiobook. ‘Lonesome Dove’ – a very long western novel (maybe even saga?) that I listened to for most of my journeys every.day. I have yet to finish it as its just so damn long but I am most certainly enjoying it.
Today was my last day. I am quite happy about this as a) obviously I am one step closer to my outdoor job and b) I am not a people person and this job requires a hell of a lot of social interaction.
It has taken a while for me to understand and appreciate my introverted-ness but now I do. Social interaction is not a great need for me, especially with strangers, and daily. And that’s okay. It’s odd that I was a teacher at all, but the thing about teaching is that there is a specific focus each class, it is not really small talk but language learning and this, I can enjoy.
The social interaction I had to do at the supermarket was quite different, mostly being small talk, I would get into my truck after a shift and sigh the longest sighs as finally I don’t need to speak anymore. I have to admit I was terrible at phone calls and Skype sessions over the past few months as I felt too much babbling had been done on my part.
Which is how to come back to “Be Patient and Trust Your Journey” because there were long silences between myself and my new landscaping employer over the three months, probably, because of you know, he has a life and doesn’t need to remind me everyday that he will still contact me when the snow melts. But it was a constant fear of mine that this wonderful opportunity of following a new path could suddenly collapse, and here I would be, stuck in a job 45 minutes away that I don’t really want. But I had to trust it. Not just trust this person that I don’t really know (who’s taking a risk hiring me), but trust myself, that I am on the right path and if I really want something, with patience, it can happen. I don’t believe that ‘everything happens for a reason’ but I do believe that if you want something and with a little work and patience, you can achieve it. I also think that when people are on the right path, obstacles somehow remove themselves.
Let’s see if my beliefs are correct heh.
I have yet to try, but true to my overly repeated words…
“Be patient, and Trust Your Journey”
Below are some photos from a snowshoeing trip – beautiful place in northern Ontario.