A Traveller’s Grief

I think it’s all of the quietude of this place… The evenings alone when everyone has left and all I have is the wind in the trees and the ice breaking on the lake for company. It’s getting me thinking.. Not necessarily thinking but I guess my thoughts are wondering.

It could also just be my hormones (should get that app everyone seems to follow for the cycle).

But I am missing a few people. 

It really is the worst part of travelling a lot.

All the adventure and that thrill in my stomach is great, but every once in a while I think to the people I’ve met and left or those close my heart back home.

Keeping in touch is great, we have so many forms of communication available to us in an instant. Yet, it’s not the same as popping over for a cup of tea or spending the night every so often.

The little details on life which mean every bit the importance don’t come up in conversation. Any problems people may have that bother them on occasion don’t get mentioned and it’s always just surface chat that we conquer.

People grow and change too, kids grow up, trousers get too short and dogs pass away. Friends move on too. Those really really close to you will always be there of course but a lot of effort has to be made on both sides and more often than not, that friendship just fades away.

Is all worth it? Honestly? 80% of the time.

It’s in the blood I guess. And I think a fear develops that if you did settle back home-it wouldn’t work out. And then what? 

I think it’s like, once you’ve left. You can never go back.

Unless there is a strong reason, say a partner to return with or someone who may need taking care of. Even a career opportunity. But, these are special cases. Perhaps for the lucky few, or just for those who’s paths come back.

The people who I’m working for are lovely… They have taken me in as their own child which may just be making me feel a little worse (as much as I appreciate all their help) because I’m not their family and my own is very very far away.

It could also be that I’m living in this wonderful location, perfect for family gateways and I have no one special to share it all with.

I guess it’s all about having them in your heart and making sure every once in a while you do see them. 

Maybe I just need to get laid.

Nah. Don’t need that hassle.

Just missing some good people in my life.

Not being sad here, just thoughtful 🙂

Stupid rock picking days and damn nice sunsets over the lake! Make me think too much!

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