It seems that I have run away to a long hot shower and worry-free night in a house away from the wilderness. I was excited to go back to some home comforts all day whilst continuing my trail-cutting work. Yet, now that I am here and it’s all warm and cozy and my hair is free of wood smell… it actually began to smell like bark! I feel guilty. I feel good, very good but guilty.
One of the reasons I chose to do this experience is to become tougher, to become self-sufficient and to break free from certain fears that a lot of modern day-modern society folk have (myself included). It seems we believe that being in a cabin alone in the wilderness is a lot more dangerous than a flat in the city. Whereas, actually, the city is a much more dangerous place.
Humans are a lot more dangerous than animals.
Having said all of this.. there is no reason why I may be very unlucky and very bad humans stumble across my cabin with the intention to hurt but for the sake of argument lets push that thought far from the mind.
So, my very off clumsy point is that, I have slipped up and over-eagerly accepted an overnight stay in a comfortable house (still a wooden cabin – still in the remote land-but not alone and not self-sufficiently making myself feel safe).
But that’s it with being a human, we try and sometimes we take steps back but we do keep moving forward. Sometimes our moments of weakness pull us back a little but we must keep going to that objective in mind, that goal or that dream.
I hope that this evening simply pushes my desire further to being alone and happy with that fact.
It is one thing to be happy alone and at peace, but to be completely physically alone and self-dependent without the ability to call a friend and tell them about being alone is another thing altogether!
It’s all about the learning curve eh?
Still love my mornings at the Ranch… it’s just those nighttime hypotheticals that I need to control…